Courses not offered as part of University journalism degrees

but should be

Published on August 15, 2004 By Teegstar In Humor

Now with three weeks of practical journalistic experience under my proverbial belt, I'm here to recommend the following courses to media training institutions worldwide on how they can better prepare their students for life in the "real world" of journalism. Or maybe I just have a very narrow view and should have gone to QUT.

How To Eat At Your Desk: a modular course comprising:
- A Mars a Day Helps You Work, Write and Stay (long after 5pm)
- The Nutritional Benefits of Milo, Coffee and Jatz Crackers
- The Myth of the Twenty Minute Lunch Break (And Don't Get Me Started On The Lunch Hour Legend)

Dealing With Death Threats (With guest lecturers from local preschools for "I know you are but what am I" lecture)

Closing a Long-Winded Interview (Includes martial arts component)

Finally, and not a joke:

SHORTHAND!!!

Comments

Muggaz

on Aug 16, 2004

Yeah - I never understood the term 'Play Lunch'

Why couldn't those devlish institutions of education that we call schools prepare us for a day of sitting at our desk, and maybe getting up twice??? count sarn it!!!

Good blog Teegs

BAM!!!

Champas Socialist

on Aug 16, 2004

You seem to be under some weird delusion that QUT broadens the mind. Remember UQ-Think Deeper, Griffith-Think Smarter QUT-Uni for the real world (no thinking deeper, smarter or at all presumably). Of course as John Mayer says "I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie youve got to rise above".
Qut; university for no such thing
OR
QUT: University for the Lie you've got to rise above

Loved the blog Teegs. Sorry about the out loud laugh.

Floozie

on Aug 16, 2004

Hey Teegstar!

Great article. This sounds like a course I could really sink my teeth into!

Thanks for reading my blog - it is so nice to get comments on old articles! I was especially proud of the stripper one (in the most modest way possible, of course!) so I'm glad it made you giggle - even if you did look like a bit of a loon!

I'll make sure I'm back in London. You're so right in saying Oz will always be there. And hey - I was only just getting used to drinking pints!

Take care,

Suz xxx

Ravenblack

on Aug 16, 2004

>>How To Eat At Your Desk

We have things called Instant Cup noodles. It's a 250 ml sized plastic cup containing noodles and some dried up veges and meat pieces, pour boiled water into it, let it sit covered for 3 minutes and then you'll have a meal ready to eat. The latest thing is instant rice. However, eating too much of these will cause your hair to fall out (due to the monosodium glutamate content).
Breakfast or health bars are also good if you don't have time for a meal, but they tend to be expensive.

Keo Lin

on Aug 16, 2004

3 weeks?!?!?! Please tell me you haven't been "offically employed" for three weeks already and I have lost 3 weeks somewhere? I am thinking you are talking about the 2 weeks you had "unpaid" and now one week "paid"? I am seriously thinking that this shift work beast is eating my mental ability to remember what day it is....

How is it?

Death threats sounds like an interesting subject I believe you could get this at my work

Cosmos77

on Aug 16, 2004

May I also suggest (... from personal experience!) other possible final year courses for all Students,

1. The 8 hour day: And other fables,

2. Employer Motivation: Getting Blood out of a Stone, and,

3. So... you've just completed an Arts degree: Lets talk about "Responsible service of Alcohol"!

Just kidding on the last... kinda,

Have you written any interesting stories that we might be able to read?

Cosmos!

Teegstar

on Aug 16, 2004

muggaz: thanks for the accolades. i think we should start writing letters to our education ministers asking them to review our curricula. it's just not good enough!

champas: you are my hero. not only did you manage, once again, to wittily insult your "education" institution, but you also incorporated a quote from adonis, whoops, i mean john mayer. well done.

suz: babe, i can't believe it took me so long to discover you! you're my newest fave blogger

again, all the best with your trip back to oz, blocking out porn video flashbacks and dealing with psycho stalkers!

raven: i love instant cup noodles -- a kindred spirit! i didn't know that about your hair falling out though... geez....

keo lin: yeah, 3 weeks includes the work experience, don't panic!

cosmos: number 3 was my favourite -- i definitely laughed out loud! if i get around to it i might post a story or two but i don't know... see how i go.

thanks all for reading!

Cosmos77

on Aug 17, 2004

Dude,

You gotta post them... no point in writing if nobody reads it, especlly us!

I don't have an Arts degree (thank GOD!)... it's probably the reason I have a job!

Ohhh... congrats on you getting your job too, even though it's 3 weeks late!

Cosmos!

Ravenblack

on Aug 17, 2004

>>i didn't know that about your hair falling out though... geez...

That's what is widely believed here. A rather common saying.

Anyway, I just went and did a websearch on the subject of MSG and its effects. Science has not come to agreement about the adverse effects of MSG.

http://www.todayonline.com/articles/23414.asp
http://www.thirdage.com/health/adam/ency/article/001126.htm
http://members.aol.com/adandjack/truthinlabeling.htm

Floozie

on Aug 17, 2004

you're my newest fave blogger

Awwww... you don't know how much you just made my day. I was having one of those really shitty, hate-everything-and-I'm-so-crap days and you have perked me up. A funny thing about the stalker series - there was another one to do, but the guy I was planning on writing about actually found my blog and has begun commenting. So he's still fucking stalking me! ARGH!

You are now officially added to my favourites!

Suz xxx

Theophilus Thistler

on Aug 17, 2004

A little birdy told me (I dont know if it was a deluded birdy or anything) that UQ Journo faculty did have a shorthand course available for an extra fee... but you probably already knew that.

Anydangway.. another little birdy also showed me this: http://quizilla.com/users/jackee/quizzes/What%20Monty%20Python%20Character%20are%20you%3F/

Teegstar

on Aug 17, 2004

suz: yaay i've made a faves list! i need to find time to update mine (this comment is being tapped out at superhuman speed before i write a zillion stories before 5:30pm today) good luck with the stalker -- they are the latest accessory these days after all

wayne: yeah they USED to offer a shorthand course for $80 in first semester but they don't offer it anymore! what's the big idea? so much for preparing us for the workforce. and i can't hardly wait to take that quiz (i hope i'm the peasant from the holy grail)

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