Australian Prime Ministers

freakish similarities

Published on May 12, 2004 By Teegstar In Politics

Has anyone else ever noticed a certain similarity between many of Australia's Prime Ministers? Particularly facial features... possibly in the region above their eyes...

What is it with Australian Prime Ministers and having outrageously bizarre eyebrows!

I firstly bring your attention to Sir Robert Menzies, a Prime Minister of the 1960s. The man's eyebrows nearly obscured the rest of his face!

Even in a portrait, which is usually a little more flattering than real life, the brows look ready to declare alleigance to Britain all by themselves.

Exhibit B appears in the form of Prime Minister Gough Whitlam, a man pitifully thrust from his position by the then Governor-General, only to have his Prime Ministership usurped by a man who remained in office for mere weeks. Australia maybe should review its perception of itself as a stable democracy and moreover Gough probably should have reviewed his eyebrow grooming techniques: the scary things were like two black magpies perched beneath a snowy mop of hair.

Look at him... so happy, even though there are serious shade issues happening right above his eyes.

My final example of Aussie PMs with weird brows, though there are many more, is the current Prime Minister (and not for much longer, if I have it my way, but that's another discussion altogether), John Howard.

His eyebrows have been the subject of many point-and-snickers over the years. It is a perplexing denial of the laws of physics the way they seem to grow perpendicular to the curve of his skull. Some would say this feat is admirable, and that the control over gravity that his eyebrows display is symbolic of the control he could wield over his country. I would say freakish, and surely there's enough tax coming in to employ a Personal Grooming Assistant down at Kiribilee House.

I guess one conclusion I can draw from this is that I can never pursue my dreams of ruling the country... my eyebrows are just too proportional to the rest of my face. I will therefore skip ruling Australia and move straight on to ruling the entire world.

Move over Bill Gates and Oprah,

Teegstar

Comments

gothic impulse

on May 12, 2004

John Howard reminds me of a puppet out of The Thunderbirds. I can never take him seriously I am always too busy looking for the strings.

Jess

Erofee

on May 13, 2004

Heh, so true Gothic Impulse, sad part is that there were strings, they will being pulled by G Dubya

trina_p

on May 13, 2004

Where does Mark Latham fit in then - from what I can remember just from memory no pictures in front of me - his eyebrows don't really stick out as a memorable feature - unlike Bob Hawke.
I don't think Keating had very memorable eyebrows either and right now I can't even picture Peter Costello's face let alone his eyebrows
But I think "hair" in general on PM's stands out whether they have any - if it's grey, - how much grey.

Teegstar

on May 13, 2004

oh man how could i have forgotten bob hawke?!?! now i'm going to have to rewrite the entire article....

to backpedal, i don't think it's compulsory for aussie pms to have wee-ord eyebrows, although many of the memorable ones did: the guys i mentioned, plus bob hawke, as you said.

maybe this means mark latham doesn't have a shot. that's a shame.

i don't know where paul keating fits in to all of this -- he was a very controversial pm and did a lot for australia in a regional context, yet his eyebrows were disappointingly normal.

yet another of tegan's theories bite the dust

trina_p

on May 13, 2004

On review of the February AWW - Mark Latham has pretty shapely eyebrows quite proportionate to his face - and they're brown like his hair - no grey to be found - hmm something worth pondering - Could he be a better PM because he has no grey??
Well he's got my vote - I wonder if I decided that because he a) wasn't John Howard, 2) was the leader of the labour party and I like their policies or c) he's young, has children under 10 and has no grey hair.

"my eyebrows are just too proportional to the rest of my face." I always find that your eyebrows are the first thing I notice - particularly in the photo on you MSN

I liked this blog!

trina_p

on May 13, 2004

And Simon Crean - was blonde - (as was Cheryl Kernot)

Okay teegs tell me - were there any Blonde PM"S - not blonde gone grey - actual blonde

if not -- hmmmm

(i think kim beazley had weird eyebrows too....i could be wrong.....)

Theophilus Thistler

on May 13, 2004

hahahahahaaa! You crack me up

From what I can remember, Beazley was, and quite possibly still is, a bulbous brow beast. As is Bob Hawke. I secretly wish Natasha Stott-Despoja could be PM. Political grooming concerns, the 'Boys Club' stigma and youth/young people issues would be a thing of the past in this country!

mignuna

on May 13, 2004

hey ... don't forget harold holt ...!

"in 1967 the prime minister of australia, harold holt, was strolling along a beach in victoria when he plunged into the surf and vanished ...

... no trace of the poor man was ever seen again. this seemed doubly astounding to me—first that australia could just lose a prime minister (i mean, come on) and second that news of this had never reached me"

(that quote is from bill brysons' book "down under". i stole it. i don't know what harold holt looked like, thought)

great article teegstar. thanks

mig

trina_p

on May 13, 2004

wasn't Harold a little bit bald? and pudgy? - I know there's an article in one of the back issues of AWW I have about an interview with his son because it's been 37years since he disappeared....

mignuna

on May 13, 2004

i heard a joke recently: "the world underwater breathing record was shattered today when harold holt walked ashore in chile"

trina ... you owe it to teegstar ... find those eyebrows !

mig XX

trina_p

on May 13, 2004

Okay I'm thinking of a different Harold -- by the looks at this picture in March AWW Harold Holt was quite slender - with non distinctive eyebrows and I can't see his hair because of the snorkel on his head.

trina_p

on May 13, 2004

Keo Lin

on May 13, 2004

*strokes her monobrow* ... well maybe Mine isnt that bad, but if i go by the reaction the hairdresser had to my eyebrows before my nursing ball last year I was well onto a monobrow anbushiness. Woo woo I'm a shoe in for prime minister!!

Yeah! A Nurse in charge of Australia!! Mmmm I wonder what I would "fix" first hey??

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