You want to know who's a good journalist?

Published on April 22, 2004 By Teegstar In International

Eureka!

Do you want to know how to tell how good a journalist is at first glance? I have developed an equation to tell you.

A journalist's merit is inversely related to their appearance.

Now, don't scowl at me like that, I'm not being nasty. In fact you could almost go so far as to say it's a compliment. See, if you're a really ugly journalist you can comfort yourself with the fact you're a great hack; and if you're a bit of an airhead when it comes to business and politics at least you're a hottie, right? For those in the middle ground, they can live an easy life where they write adequate copy and can walk down the street without people throwing rotten fruit and vegetables at them. Everyone's happy!

There are a few kinks in the equation, I'll admit. Female television journalists display the relationship most accurately, with a few exceptions, notably Jana Went from 60 Minutes, who is both beautiful and a shrewd wordsmith. I'm sure there are a few others. At the other end of the scale I find Ray Martin's hair a little scary (it hasn't changed in 40 years, and I haven't even been alive that long) and I find him repellent both as a physical specimen and a journalist.

The best supporters of my theory are Channel 9's political reporting veteran Laurie Oakes, who I think may be related to Shrek, and Natalie Whatshername from A Current Affair whose shiny-haired stick insect form can often be seen chasing some "shonky-pyramid-scheme-wheedling-con-man-with-the-messiest-house-in-Queensland" down a street with a microphone and camera.

*shudders*

I'm thanking the patron saint of internet traffic tonight that this blog doesn't have too high a readership -- I don't have anything suitable to wear to a defamation hearing.

I'm also thanking The Melbourne Age's political columnist Michelle Grattan for inspiring this article -- she is one GREAT journalist.

Don't have sex or swear... in prime time,

Teegs

Comments

Muggaz

on Apr 22, 2004

This comment has been removed as the result of a Request for Immediate Remove of Material issued on July 8th, 2008 by sent by legal representatives for Jennifer Keyte.

Theophilus Thistler

on Apr 22, 2004

Eddie McGuire has his fingers in so many pies! I'm just totally sick of seeing and hearing him every which way I turn! And Ray Martin... don't even get me started! His hair has been the same for 40 years because it's actually a headpiece made from space-age polymer fibres delivered to him by Satan himself in exchange for his soul. I think he and Vanessa Amorosi must have made a similar deal. She's had the same cut since she was 15 and I can't figure out how she ever got a recording deal....

Muggaz

on Apr 26, 2004

Haha... Vanessa Amorosi and Tina Arena should both be deported to NZ....

BAM!!!

curious

on Sep 16, 2004

This comment has been removed as the result of a Request for Immediate Remove of Material issued on July 8th, 2008 sent by legal representatives for Jennifer Keyte.

curious

on Sep 16, 2004

i meant split

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!